On November 21, 2009 I received an e-mail from Jill about an interesting ouija board experience:


On November 21, 2009 a few of us used the Ouija Board at Jill's house. We decided to use an online "Magical Talking Board." This session lasted 1 hour and 35 minutes.

Lauren: Are you female?
Board: No

Jill: This is scary

Lauren: You've got to remember these were once real people like us, a guy in my class played it and he got freaked out because he said "where are you?" and it said "near water" and there was a bottle of water beside him.

Jill: They feed of your souls.

Lauren: They feed off your nervous energy, this board isn't as bad as the real ones, and if you're nervous it goes crazy.

Lauren: Are you female?
Board: Yes

Lauren: Are you evil?
Board: Yes

Jill: Oh crap! It's evil!

(Lauren and Jill are talking at this point about the "Paranormal Activity" movie)

Lauren: Are you in Heaven?

Jill: Of course it's in Heaven.

Lauren: But it says it's evil.

Lauren: Do you hate me?
Board: Yes

Lauren: Knew that was coming.

Jill: Why do you hate her? I bet it's saying "I hate you."

(Jill says this in a pretend evil voice)

Lauren: How many living people in this house?
Board: 9

(There were 3 living people in the house)

Lauren: Do you have a husband?
Board: No

Jill: Aww! That's sad!

(Lauren and Jill are talking at this point again)

Jill: Ask it if it's lonely.

Lauren: Ok, in a minute.

Lauren: Are you lonely?
Board: Yes

Jill: Oh my God! I am psychic!

Lauren: Do you want to find love?
Board: Yes

Lauren: Oh my God! It doesn't usually answer to questions like that!

Jill: Aww! That's a shame...

Lauren: Do you have any children?
Board: Leave me now

Lauren: Aww...it's getting all emotional.

Jill: We better just leave it now, it's getting emotional; ask it now if it wants us to leave it now.

Lauren: Do you want to be left alone?
Board: Cannot tell

Jill: I was watching Michael Jackson's search for his spirit...

(Lauren and Jill are talking at this point again)

Lauren: Do you know Michael Jackson?
Board: Yes

Jill: Oh my God!

Lauren: Do you talk to Michael Jackson?
Board: Maybe later

(Lauren and Jill are talking at this point again)

Lauren: Do you like Jill Munn?

Board: No

Jill: I'll kill you, set you on fire, then I'll hear you scream and...then I'll die.

(Lauren laughs)

Lauren: Do you like Lauren Wales?
Board: No

Lauren: No one likes me.

(Lauren talks to Jill about a previous experience with the board)

Lauren: Do you...

Jill: Like chocolate

Lauren: Yeah!

Jill: No, no!

Lauren: Do you like death?
Board: Yes

Jill: Right on! I worship you, you like death...I like death!

Lauren: Do you know my name?
Board: Yes

Jill: Your kinda freaking me out, I'm getting freaked out but it's cool at the same time.

Jill: What's that noise?

Lauren: It's bagpipes!

Jill: Thank God for that, it's just bagpipes!

Lauren: Why are there bagpipes in the dark and the rain?

Lauren: Do you like the dark?

Lauren: It'll say yes...
Board: No

(Lauren and Jill hear bagpipes and singing)

Lauren: Oh it's just from dad watching the TV!

Lauren: Do you have grey hair?

Jill: Don't ask that!

Lauren: Yeah!
Board: Yes

Jill: Ask it if it's an old emo.

Lauren: Are you an emo?
Board: No

Jill: Dammit!

Jill: Are you a Goth? Try that!

Lauren: Are you a Goth, should I say gothic or Goth?

Jill: Goth's better!
v Lauren: Are you a Goth?
Board: No

Lauren: Are you a skater, are you a nerd, are you a geek, are you popular?

Jill: Are you a punk?

Lauren: Are you a punk?
Board: Yes

Jill: Oh yeah!

(Jill does a victory dance, which scares Lauren more than the board)

Jill: I'll kill you.

(Jill was speaking to Lauren at this point)

Lauren: Are my shoes pink?
Board: Yes

Lauren: Oh my God!

(Lauren and Jill scream as Lauren bought new pink high heels today)

Jill: Stop! You'll make it nervous!

Jill: You forgot to put the sneezing part in!

(Jill sneezes)

Jill: Ask what colour my shoes are.

(Lauren clicks something by accident, and the board goes off. Jill gets freaked out and thinks there is now a ghost in her house)

Jill: I've got a ghost in my house now, thanks to you!

Lauren: It's ok, I did that before...

Lauren: Are you still there?
Board: No

Jill: Lauren, you are a complete idiot!

Lauren: It's ok, it's worse if it's the real board...

Lauren: Are Jill's shoes yellow?
Board: Yes

Jill: Oh my God! That thing's psychic!

Lauren: Is it true that that are no spirits in this house?
Board: No

Jill: Yes, thank God!

Lauren: Does that mean there are spirits in this house or there aren't?

Jill: Yes, it means no there isn't...oh wait, she's saying there are!

Lauren: Does this house contain any spirits?
Board: No

Jill: Thank you, thank you.

(Lauren clicks something by accident and the board goes off)

Lauren: Oh crap!

Lauren: Does my house contain any spirits?
Board: Unknown

Lauren: So, that doesn't mean no...

Lauren: Which is bad, I knew that anyway!

Lauren: Do you know Fred?
Board: No

(Jill laughs)

Lauren: I'll ask it if it knows Bob the Builder...

Jill: But Bob the Builder is a cartoon.

Lauren: Do you know Bob the Builder?
Board: No

Jill: Can I ask you a question?

Lauren: What?

Jill: I'll type it in now!

Lauren: Ok, my fingers are sore and in cramp.

Jill: Don't look!

Lauren: I need to look!

Jill: It's going to be embarrassing!

Lauren: I don't care...

Jill: Do you know Sweeny Todd?

Lauren: You spelled it wrong!

Jill: What!? Oh no, I disgraced you!

Lauren: Ha! You disgraced him!

Jill: Do you know Sweeney Todd?
Board: Ask later

Lauren: Do you want to just end it there and send it in?

Jill: Yeah!

Lauren: Goodbye

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